T. E. Lawrence Correspondence – Page 357

To Major F Yeats Brown Karachi. 8.VII.27 Dear Y-B There, I've got down to initials in which I feel more comfortable: because I don't know if you are man or woman. One never does these days - or any day really. Such is such a treason. Till the child actually gets into the daylight it doesn't know its sex: and (except as their performance ... later, much distinction in their performance. This preliminary paragraph conveys the personal note. So your secretary (bound to be female, that one, as under a pseudonym I'd better be told her to address my contributions. The fewer people aware of C.D. in your team the better. For if talk began about that person I should cut his throat. "If talk began". I'm being more optimistic than I believe: but before starting a journey one should look where the road might eventually lead. I enclose you a note on D.H.L. Your books (taking 5 weeks by parcel post - book post is ['three weeks' crossed out] eighteen days) came to be on Wednesday (6/7/27). I read the three in 4 days, on Thursday, & have written this today. Too quickly, no doubt, but I did not want to keep you ['too' crossed out] longer without a sampler: besides I've been reading his stuff before the war, so that my mind was made up before this week. As for the note, of course it's no good. By nature I wasn't meant to write. The job comes very hard to me. I can't do it without trying my ['very' crossed out] heart, and if I've ever in my past written decently it was under the dire command of some mastering need to put on paper a case, or a relation, or an explanation, of something I cared about. I don't see that happening with literature and so I don't expect you to like what I write. I've aimed it D.D. because it's the first, if you do print it after all. I'd suggest the first fix on a's things worth signing be restrained to their initials. If the miracle continues after that (surely either yours [patience crossed out] forbearance or my endeavour will break down) we