T. E. Lawrence Correspondence – Page 372

Copy of printed page-proof showing T.E.Lawrence's corrections. CHAPTER I The story which follows was first written out in Paris during the Peace Conference, from notes jotted daily on the march, strengthened by some reports sent to my chiefs in Cairo. Afterwards, in the autumn of 1919, this first draft and some of the notes were lost. It seemed to me historically needful to reproduce the tale, as far as one but not in detail: for scrupulous verbal records took the truth away and thought of writing down at the time what we felt, what we hoped, what we tried. So it was built again with heavy repugnance in London in the winter of 1919-20 from memory and my surviving notes. The record of events was not dull in my mind, forgetting actual mistakes except in irrelevant details of dates or numbers: but the original vividness and significance of things had lost edge in the haze of new interests. Dates and places are correct, so far as my notes preserved them: but the personal names are not. Since, besides the actors, some of those who worked with me have buried themselves in the shallow grave of public duty. Free use has been made of their names. Others still possess themselves, and here keep their secrecy. Sometimes one man travels various names. This may hide individuality: and make him book a scatter of featureless puppets, rather than a group of living people: but once good is told of a man, and again evil, and some would not thank me for either blame or praise. This isolated picture throwing the main light upon myself is unfair to my British colleagues. Especially I am most sorry that I have not told what the non-commissioned of us did. They were invaluable, but endured it, especially when it is taken into account that they had not the motivation, the interpretative vision of the end, which sustained the officers. Unfortunately my concern was limited to this end, and the book is just a designed procession of Arab freedom from Azrak to Damascus. It is intended to rationalize the campaign, that everyone may see how natural the success was and how inevitable, how little dependent on direction or brain, how much less on the outside assistance of the few British. It was an Arab war waged and led by Arabs for an Arab aim in Arabia. My proper share was a minor one, but because of a fluent pen, a free speech, and a certain adroitness of brain, I took upon myself, as I describe it, a mock primacy. In reality I was ever ... I never had any .... among the Arabs: I was never in charge of the British mission with them. Wilson, Joyce, New..., Daw..., and Davenport were all over my head. I flattered myself that I was too young, not that they had more heart or mind in the work. I did my best. Wilson, Joyce, Newcombe, Dawney, Davenport, Burto..., Marshall, Stirling, Young, Maynard, Ross, Scott, Winterton, Lloyd, Wordie, ..., Goslett, Stent, Henderson, Williams, Gilman, Garland, Brodie, Makins, Nunan, Leeson, Hornby, Peake, Scott-Higgins, Ramsey, Wood, Clayton. Bright, Macindoe, Greenhill, Grisenthwaite, Wade,