T. E. Lawrence Correspondence – Page 635

the Tanks I returned for three days to Uxbridge, the R A F Depot, & went thence to Crenwell, as I describe. That gave me the chance to carry the story straight through- Do you think I ought to expend the "explanation" into greater length, & don't I risk tedious digressions; I am reading the Farnborough & Tank Corps trim reading. I have some raw notes: but they are pretty My bowels have twice or thrice destroyed my poise of A bit of a beudism. is pr.per to a man of acti.ni in which reputation would put me: to people of the v.c. class, in myself, that I'm not a brave person: Of course I know Most brave people aren't attractive. and am not sorry. In "Last Post" the all clear signal I handed down the but was that Corporal Abbinett was again in bed: Sorry. Too much compression there, apparently. I do think that conscions, deliberate exercise is an evil thing: but I didn't clear "prostitution" as important. There are so many prostitutions thet one can't take them vigorously. The period of enjoyment, in sex, seems to be a very doubtful one: I've asked the fellows in this hut (three or four go with "when soldiers"): They are not sure: but they say it's all over in ten minutes: and the preliminaries which I discounted - take up most of the ten minutes. For myself, I haven't tried it...hope not to. I doubt if any man could time his excitement without a stop-watch: and that's a cold-blooded sort of notion. I would like to say much more about Trenchard some day. A very noble and unusual person. We do regard flying as a sort of ritual: more an art th... a science, it is. Unreasonable to expect other people to feel like that, of course:: but it is not an unpresentable crusade: compared with the Lord's Sepulchre. You don't like my saying that the Old Depot is reformed away: and wish for a moral. But I tried not to moralise or conduct more than the instructure through when the system worked. As a victim I have hardly the right to comment. I am glad you feel the difference between Cadet College & Depot. B.H.F. said that Cadet College didn't "come through" as a happy place. I re-read the MS. before it went to you, & & was inclined to disagree with him.