T. E. Lawrence Correspondence – Page 457

To Hogarth 13.VI.26 asked me to take my discharge as final; and he's not a mind- changer, & I don't want to bother him with my personal whims. So I don't think there is any remedy. You talk about Govt. money. I take it every week, so that I haven't any scruples; but I'm worth more than 3/- a day only in Politics & Middle Path. A large I could play; and a temporary job at a high salary would only cart me over: then even at the end I'd be hard enough, now, to go poor again: and every year of money would make it but worse. When I saw Amery he was thinking of coastguard or lighthouse for me: and the latter felt to me like so complete a vilth-ray. The point as to enable me to publish that book & get the job over. I took the dip Souls...money this year, & have spent it on pic- tures. I felt nervous at the length of time my drawings were taking, & anxious to end them quickly: & I distrusted my power of getting enough in the Army or R.A.F. to pay for the six or seven yet required. As a matter of a fact I am earning a little - translating a French novel just now; and Cape. the publisher, has written suggest- ing I do Rertrand Russel's "Icarus Mission" into English for him. I'm willing - if unsigned - as that would bring me in the price of some more cravings. There, that's how I stand; and I see no way out of it. It's good that at not any longer to the end. He has wanted it per- sistently: & therefore presumably deserves it. I agree with you about hellenistic sculpture T.E.