T. E. Lawrence Correspondence – Page 583

3. condemned it. Not good enough to publish, because it's not as good as I can make it (unless I deceive myself). The stoppage is only to prevent too big a bill this year. Next year I will have more money, and will be able to carry on. Meanwhile I'll be barely solvent. Penury is as mean an ill as toothache. .......... The return is yet vague. To-morrow I go to Trans- Jordan, to end that phase. It makes me feel like a baby killer. The last two months I've been in the Red Sea, and things are not ended there. I would like to come home before ending them: if I am to end them. So perhaps at the end of October? God knows. .......... What more? Nothing. I'm bored stiff: and very tired, and a little ill, and sorry to see how mean some people I wanted to respect have grown. The War was good by drawing over our depths that hot surface wish to do or win something. So the cargo of the ship was unseen, and not thought of. This life goes on till February 28 next year. Au Revoir." T.L. Colonial Office. 16. 2. 22. "I've got 50 Pounds in the Bank and am leaving